By Ali Benjamin
Realistic Fiction – Young Adult
My Synopsis
When Susy’s best friend dies, it causes her to undergo a series of grief-induced reactions. She stops talking, hunts for answers, relives all her regrets, deals with loads of guilt, and gets angry at those around her. In her hunt for answers, she becomes oddly obsessed with jellyfish as a possible cause of her friend’s drowning, hence the book title.
Pushing, pulling, dragging- it’s not easy no matter how you do it. I’ve dealt with grief before, more than once. It doesn’t get easier, but it gets familiar.
Like falling, I suppose. As a kid, you fall sometimes. Maybe from your bike, skates, or a tree, and it seems devastating. You think you may never do that activity again. But you have people who care for you, tend to you, and slowly your cuts heal. It does not mean that you won’t feel pain the next time you fall. Or that you don’t mind it. Nope- you still don’t like falling. You still need time to heal. Some falls are worse than others. Some break things while others just bump and bruise.
Continue reading “Pushing Past Grief”
My recent return from vacation had me wondering why I ever go on away. I came back to tons of laundry, an avalanche of emails, work hours my now relaxed body was unprepared for, and dirty city air. Not to mention the stress of unnecessary drama I was able to put on hold while away. Worst of all, the dreaded “To-Do” list had morphed into a diabolical monster I could no longer slay.
I became overwhelmed with all the things I had to do. This caused me to get sick. I had nausea and a fever every night for a week. I’m the type of person who can’t seem to find a middle ground. Once things get out of order even a tiny bit, I let them slide into chaos. I either have a place for everything and everything in its place, or I’m shuffling through piles of clutter I can’t seem to tackle. So I used to have a process to help me deal with my task list.
I was once told to write out my to-do list and address one thing at a time. The idea was that I could cross out each item once completed, and that action would cause me great satisfaction. This satisfaction would inspire me to do more and stave off chaos. This worked for a while. The problem was that my to-do list was never empty. While crossing things out was satisfactory, adding on new items or items that repeat (laundry, dishes) became tedious and draining. Depressing.
Continue reading “to-do vs done”
Last month I wanted a change, so I chopped off my hair. I had hair down my entire back, and now it barely covers my ears. It’s certainly changed, but it’s not cute. In fact, it’s an absolutely terrible home haircut. I should be more upset. Or, ideally, I should love the “new me .” Instead I simply have something new to dislike when I look in the mirror.
Continue reading “Acceptance vs Expectance”
Blessed are those who see the dark; they shine upon the hour.
A light shines out a light shines in, a beacon on a tower.
They do not shun the lurking shadows; they do not close the doors.
Instead, they open up themselves and ask if there is more.
A tear will fall, a cry may sound, but every breath is strong.
Each battle fought with spitting fury regardless of how long.
In careful corners of the world
plays ignorance and innocence.
By circumstance or by their choosing,
confidence is but false bliss.
Blessed are those who see the dark; they shine upon the hour.
The truth be known, and shadows shown! And welcome in the power.
INGRID E FABER 